Friday, April 9, 2010

and so it goes

my divorce was made final today and i am a mix of emotions that is probably not being helped by one cheap bottle of wine.  ones of failure, relief, exhaustion, sadness, regret but ultimately, hope.  i simply married the wrong person and had the right kids.  i am so very sorry to put them through this but if i had stayed, what would i have taught them?  that a mom sleeping on the couch is the norm?  that a silent with a tense undercurrent mom and dad is the ideal?  that a mom that cries at night is expected?  that a mom that acquires a new and irregular heartbeat is acceptable?

it was bad, i moved on.  he didn't.  it hurts.  but it will get better for him and for me and for them.

we'll be okay.  and here we go.
 

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